Nothingness?

Before I start, this post is not intended for one person/ a group of people. It is just a general feeling. Of course I have the predisposed mentality that no one would bother to read through this but I hope it helps a little.

To merely take a 2-second glance at those esoteric nicknames/ blogposts/ finger notes/ profile notes that I see everyday is enough to give me headaches. It’s fun to play the guessing game, but when its overplayed I kind of get bored myself. Of course, I suspect I am blest enough that no one would read this entry (considering that no one reads my blog regularly, who would want to bother about the life of some depraved 15-year old anyway?). But yes, people just love to use strange encryptions/ languages/ antics just to enshroud their emotions and feelings. So much of this happens that it gets confusing/ irritating for someone like me – I don’t know what people are actually saying to each other, or even perhaps to me.

This gets even worse when you know there IS a purpose for them posting the blog posts/ filling the nicknames in/ typing in the finger notes (just like there is a purpose for everything, very arguable). It’s like these people want you to know what they are feeling, yet at the same time you have to spend time to “decode” the hidden embedded message. And if you aren’t able to, hard luck – you might just have lost a vital message that someone is trying to communicate across to you (perhaps in a manner which he/she thinks is tactful).

Yes – I get very sick looking at all these. Somehow I feel this brings about feelings similar to those evoked by the Gothic… feelings of uncertainty, feelings of fear, feelings of distrust. It’s like you know this person might be very friendly on the surface, but you never know of his concealed, perhaps even built-up frustration and anger towards you. Well… you lose friends whom you really used to trust. You don’t dare speak to them about your true feelings because you’re afraid this might affect their impression of you – that which you aren’t sure of at all. At the same time you’re not receptive to signals they might be trying to send to you.

After observing and talking around with some people… I think a great deal of this happens because people tend to “think deep”, which entails thinking into other people’s thoughts (based on action and speech), thinking about the “base characteristics” that the person may possess, and also a postulation of what might happen should a course of action be taken. To put it in simple terms, many people “analyse too deeply”. Well of course “thinking deep” might what youths at this age assume to be a sign of maturity… but when you reach certain points, it may harm you more than it can aid you.

I think at this age, youths should be more gung-ho than contemplative. Yes it might be intellectual to attempt to “characterize” people and do comparisons or criticisms… but in the end (or in a few years time) you will realise that no one can be classified under strict characteristic traits. Even if you are able to find patterns in someone’s behaviour, there is no guarantee that it won’t change tomorrow (and cause you much more angst because OH NOES HE’S NOT DOING SOMETHING HE SHOULD BE DOING). Of course I am doing a rather hypothetical explanation but I’m sure this can be fit into many scenarios.

As I always advocate nowadays… take life as it comes at you. Don’t expect too little of yourself, at the same time don’t expect too much. Don’t take everything that is thrown at you too seriously (no one means everything that they do!), and be an observer – but not an observer who takes every detail and analyses them to the extent that his/her emotions get affected- but one who is able to analyse without involving too much emotion, someone who can predict, but not fall to his/her prediction. Be able to control your own future; don’t let your future control you.

On a side note, looking forward to (class) captains ball tomorrow, or rather today =D=D=D=D=D. Good night everyone, and I think I will screw Chemistry up.

One for all, All for one, Venturez’ 06 (VLC coming soon!!! =D)

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