Plot to become the Next Best Player never to have played in a WSC – a fantasie

(N.B. Almost zero of the following information is true, hence this post is not to be taken seriously)

Scheming Toh Weibin has a brilliant plan.

This plan is secret but it will be posted here since this blog is so under-read. So no one, absolutely NO Scrabble players, will know about it :).

Aim:

To become the Next Best Player never to have played in a WSC after Hubert has gone for his turn.

Procedure:

Step 1: Ensure that Hubert qualifies for WSC

This is the simplest of all steps – just lose to him, which is not a tough thing to do in the first place (until Step 2 is completed). And also, avoid winning the Nationals at all costs, though it is still extremely likely that he will remain the highest rated.

Step 2: Mug Collins

If 300 words are done each day, it is estimated that I will finish the dictionary. Soon. Though the effect of mugging will probably turn me into a spod.

(On the right: The Mean Green Mugging Machine)

Step 3: Pretending that I haven’t started Collins

The deceptive element of this comes about in phonying – I will phony CEA, AUO, DOFS, thinking that they are all good by the new dictionary. I will even play BRAAIEDS if I have to.

(On the left: An example of a phony?)

Step 4: Purposely losing the Nationals

Of course, I would have finished quite a bit of the dictionary by then so I would be positioned to win the Nationals. Easily. Yet I will vault myself into a high position, but not high enough to win.

Step 5: Winning every tournament after the Qualifying Period

With Collins knowledge, I will win every single tournament after the Qualifying Period and be rated 2851 (like Garry Kasparov’s peak on chess). Then I will win the WSC 10 times and be rated 2851 internationally too. Then years later IBM will create a computer program called Deep Black that will beat me.

(On the top right: Kasparov)

Backup Plan

Should any of the steps fail (especially mugging), shoot everyone up with a AK (Andy Kurnia)- 47. Usurp the position of President of SA (I mean I’d be the only guy left in the Association!) and rename it WESPA. THEN change the dictionary back to SOWPODS.

(On the top right: Andy Kurnia-47)

Intended Result

JP, Hubert and the last qualifier would go for WSC at Mumbai this year. IMO (not EMO you Collins meffs) this is worth missing because I need time to finish SOWPODS. Because Singapore has the 5th lowest corruption rate according to the Corruption Perception Index (and it is likely that I would become President of the Republic by then), WSC will be held in Singapore in 2009. That’s 2 years of being the best player never to have played in a WSC =D.

That, wofs, will be my year, because I will be exempted from NS with merit from being Uniquely Singaporean.

(On the top left: The Merlion, symbolic of Singapore and Singaporean Scrabble play although twq will soon become representative of Singapore)

Conclusion – not to be igged

Jaga out dorbs. I will whup your jaxies.

(To the right – statue of The Thinker, i.e. me)

Once again, I repeat that the content above is rubbish. Jokes aside, I need to play better. And study better.

One for all, all for one, Venturez’ 06

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